Transitions

So I'm all moved in to Ian's apartment.  It feels pretty weird.  It's like all my random crap like bongos and a sewing machine and kites and libertarian propaganda among his uber modern minimalist decor that I never would have picked for myself.  But then I see J. Alfred Prufrock, my gold ceramic duck in the bedroom and the peanut butter we got together at the grocery store because I like chunky, and I guess I really live here now.

I cried like a little bitty fucking baby last night for at least an hour leaving the co-op with all my stuff and when we got home.  God I still feel like crying for another hour about it.  I loved that place.  I don't care if it was a shithole, it was my shithole and I loved everyone in it and everything about it.  When you live there, you don't realize how much your stuff smells like stale cigarette ashes and pot.  Such a beautiful experience to know so many true authentic people, people who care about me and looked out for me.  Of course I'll visit, but I'll miss out on stuff I know it.  Like when we had a huge snowball fight with newspaper in the dining room, and all the late night dance parties in the kitchen making french fries, or just all the times I came home for lunch and laughed until my sides hurt.  Submission parties, Molly cuddle fests, sitting around on the back porch shootin' the shit.  Ahhh, it's so heartbreaking not being there!

Looks like it's time to cry some more.

The First Of Several - Biographical Sketches Of My Friends

"I'd eat the corn outta her shit."
- Dorian, one of my favorite people.

Completely inappropriate at times, and yet still a total ladies man.

"Dude, quit the facade, we all know you're only into the poop for the corn. They sell it on the cob, too, you know. I had to learn that the hard way..."

- Claire, another favorite person

I think everyone needs to try out a book by Charles Bukowski

Glory be to the best motherfucking co-op in the whole fucking world. God I love this place. This is an incredibly happy time in my life, possibly the happiest I've ever been, and a lot of that happiness is due to living at 21st St.

This is the first time I’ve felt truly free in America, where I can go naked as often as I please, and do as many drugs as I please without anyone hassling me. I can say what I think and wear or not wear whatever I want without any real fear of reproach. I feel uncensored, unrestrained, like I can be my authentic self and have people see me for who I am and it is glorious. It feels good to my soul. I never want to leave.

The democracy ideal which I think is a crapshoot on a large scale, really works in this setting and I feel like I have the power to change things I care about. I especially love the way people voluntarily cooperate to get things done due to their own vested interest in this place. Occasionally I find some choice examples of why socialism is a shit show, tragedy of the commons and all of that, but I've decided that is healthier for people to live in close-knit groups taking care of one another and suffering the slightly squalid consequences, rather than to isolate themselves in an apartment and expend energy on having lots of nice things. Well, different lifestyles may just make different people happy, but I sure am glad I found what works best for me! :D Actually, living in this quasi-socialist cooperative living situation, is a testament to the free market in my opinion. The fact that people have choices in capitalism - to live as an individualist laboring only for yourself and family, or to live cooperatively, laboring for the benefit of the people in your surroundings - is really wonderful. It certainly doesn't work the other way around. In a communist country, you don't really get that choice.

People care about one another here. People here care about me. I'll give you an example. Yesterday I was taking the trash out of the Commons (where we have parties), and as I was walking by the back porch, my foot slipped off of my flip flop (freak accident) and a piece of broken glass stabbed my heel. I got cut really bad and started bleeding all over the place. Immediately like 5 people became incredibly concerned about my welfare. Alfredo helped carry me over to the mop shed so I could wash off my foot and my sandal which was covered in blood, and then 30 seconds later Garrett was there with his fully stocked first aid kit. They helped me to a bench and Garrett cleaned up my foot and did a first-rate job of dressing my wound. There was even an EMT present explaining how I would know if there was still glass in my foot. While all of that was going on, Alfredo hosed all of my blood off the sidewalk. (Garrett actually even re-dressed my wound again and also superglued me back together later after I busted my cut open hobbling around in Twin Liquors and HEB with Alfredo - I rode around in a motorized wheelchair. Yea! But Garrett - man, what a guy! :D ) Anyway, moral of the story: I'm so grateful to have such great friends watching out for me.

UPDATE: This is my foot two days after Garrett fixed me up. The cut's like half the size it was when it happened.

On another note, caring for one another in a cooperative living situation really fits with my made-up religion also. Like that there is divinity within all of us, and we have this collective consciousness because we are parts of God, which allows us to sense the suffering (or joy or peace or love) of others. This makes it such that when people pray, those who recognize their divinity and acknowledge that they are a part of God, those people can hear prayers and share in their joy, or love, or suffering, or render aid to that person, etc. You can't help others and be joyful with them and take care of them if you are isolated from them. So being around co-opers and helping out and sharing in people's experiences, is really... I don't know... divinity affirming I guess - it sits right with my beliefs.

This song will always make me think of the co-op:http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Kids_Album_Version_/23111624

In other news, I've found my calling - http://pornfortheblind.org/ I'm going to start doing voice descriptions of various porn scenes so that blind people can jerk off/buff the muff to things on the Internet like able-bodied people. It's a non-profit charity so I feel pretty good about lending my voice to making some great narrations. As it is, most of the contributors are male, which I think would kind of suck if I were a blind guy, don't you agree? Plus, I think I could do sexier descriptions - like here's a direct quote from one clip - hilarious in it's dettachedness, "... Gaping anus being stretched open, presumably after being plugged by a large European penis." More: "Another man in a soccer jersey is doing his part in the double penetration (hesitation) to a woman... who is also kissing another woman... The two men are wearing shirts, but the shirts have no sleeves." Haha. Oh dear! So I'm open to requests people - what are some favorite scenes I should narrations of?

Life Is Short But Sweet For Certain

Awwwww shit! These curtains I just made look fuckin' SHARP! All the while I was making them I was criticizing my uneven seams and impreciseness lining things up, but now that I put them up, they really clean up the whole room. They're also very practical, letting in light during the day and serving as blackout curtains at night. Maybe I'll post pictures later.

I love co-opers. Grave robbing at 2 am in the state cemetary, busting up my knees climbing trees with fellow winos. I'm happy here.

UPDATE: Pictures! Note how the drapes match the sofa. Yea! :P

And then this is the cool lighting fixture I made using Christmas lights and our ceiling fan which doesn't work anyway. It turned out way better than I expected.

This is my roommate's. It's this glittery portrait of Alex from Clockwork Orange. I think it's pretty awesome.