When I die, I really want people to lie about me in my obituary, because that’s exactly the kind of thing no one would suspect!
AUSTIN - University of Texas student, Lauren King fell asleep in the arms of Jesus on Friday. A hell-raising alcoholic and polyglot, she spoke five languages and could cuss in two more, all the while slurring every word. All smiles and hair and charm, she made several appearances as one of Barker’s Beauties on The Price is Right. Though born to be a lover not a fighter, she regularly engaged in gun fights with IRS auditors and vampire cops under the banner of liberty. King was frequently hostess to many flamboyant, yet classy, gorilla orgies, citing their need to express their authentic sexuality in a place where they would not be judged. A friend and advocate to man and beast alike, she will be sorely missed.
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